Amateur Hour · Card Games · MTG · Story · Tabletop Gaming · Wizards of the Coast

5 Absurd Things That I Did as a Brand New Magic the Gathering Player

Let’s be real – I’m still a brand new MTG player. Especially in comparison to those who have been playing since it’s inception in 1993. However, I’m one of those people who tends to get obsessive when I get into something. You know that friend who goes on a diet and now it’s her entire flipping personality? That’s me. With everything. (Send your thoughts and prayers to my loved ones.)

When I got into Magic just over a year ago, I wanted to take in all of the content that I possibly could. Being locked up during the pandemic made this particularly easy. I watched hours and hours of The Command Zone, EDH Rec Cast, Tolarian Community College, and The Commander’s Quarters.

“Oh, so that must mean that you’re a really awesome player now, right?”

Absolutely not. Because I have the memory of a goldfish. (Not even an MTG Goldfish at that.)

However, what it did do was provide me with a sense of humor about some of my earlier behaviors. Below you’ll find a list of some of the most absurd things that Tom and I did on our first adventures into the world of EDH/Commander.

  1. Bought way too many sleeves.

I already covered this one in my first post, but I think we need to revisit this bit of absurdity. When we bought our first few packs, it was easy to assume that every card deserved to go into a sleeve. Strixhaven and Kaldheim were both beautiful sets. However, when we were on Dragonshield boxes 3 and 4, we realized that this wasn’t really something we could manage while still wanting to buy more packs. One can only purchase so many Classic Mints! Currently, our only sleeved cards are the ones that are in our decks. The rest are in binders or organized bulk boxes. (I know, I know. Buy singles. I do my best. Sort of.)

2. Thought I had to protect my graveyard at all costs

In one of the first games that we ever played, the owner of our closest LGS (bless his soul) played a graveyard hate deck. The game ended by having our graveyards used against us that gave the LGS owner the win. As a result, both Tom and I put things such as Elixir of Immortality or Feldon’s Cane into every. Single. Deck.

I eventually had a Niv Mizzet deck that nearly cared more about it’s graveyard than it did about drawing cards. Gotta protect that graveyard, amirite?!

3. Assumed that all Swamp players were cheaters.

If they weren’t cheating, they were at least meta gamers. I frequently complained to Tom – a Swamp player – that his cards were more powerful than mine and insinuated that he had chosen the most OP colour identity.

I said this.

A Simic player. With a straight face.

I compared his choice to playing the most OP class in WoW for that particular patch or expansion. That person in your D&D group who misses the point of the RP and just makes the most disgustingly powerful character that she can. I said this all, I’m sure, in my judgiest Simic player voice. Nevermind my access to ramp, removal, card draw, and giant terrifying creatures. Who cares about any of those things, right?

I’ve since expanded out from my Simic beginnings and I’ve delved a bit into Swampiness myself.

As they say – if you can’t beat them, join them.

4. Put Bushido Frogs in all my decks.

Listen, I don’t even know how to explain this one. It was a good frog, okay?

5. Think that I could make a two-for-one deck

I saved the weirdest one for last. I had just finished creating my very first deck that wasn’t a pre-con. Meow Mix was a Selesnya cat tribal deck headed by the fearsome Arahbo, Roar of the World. It slayed. My pride knew no bounds. (Yes, I definitely had help from our friend who opened the game store that I mentioned in my last post.)

I thought that I was ready to take on my next deck. However, being me, I thought.. why create just one deck when I could make two? I figured that Marchesa, the Black Rose and Niv-Mizzet, Parun could share a deck base. When I wanted to play with the other Commander, I would swap out a few swamps, throw in some vampires, and away I would go!


Could you imagine being the person sat at a table with me? How obnoxious would it have been to watch me create Deck #2 as I consulted my little scrap of paper regarding how many lands I needed to sub out and which creatures needed to be swapped?

Of course I would come to realize that this wouldn’t work for a variety of reasons.

(Thank goodness something stopped me.)

What about you? What were some of the silliest things that you did as a new player in either MTG or in another game? Let me know in the comments below!

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